HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

by Foxfire Sun Nov 09, 2008 9:19 pm

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual question
given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid term

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic
(gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?

First, we need to know how the mass
of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate at which
souls are moving into Hell and the
rate at which they are leaving. I
think that we can safely assume
that once a soul gets to Hell, it
will not leave. Therefore, no souls
are leaving. As for how many souls
are entering Hell, let's look at
the different religions that exist
in the world today.
Most of these religions state that
if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of
these religions and since people do
not belong to more than one
religion, we can project that all
souls go to Hell. With birth and
death rates as they are, we can
expect the number of souls in Hell
to increase exponentially. Now, we
look at the rate of change of the
volume in Hell because Boyle's Law
states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in Hell to
stay the same, the volume of Hell
has to expand proportionately as
souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower
rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature
and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate
faster than the increase of souls
in Hell, then the temperature and
pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to
me by Teresa during my Freshman
year that, "It will be a cold day
in Hell before I sleep with you,"
and take into account the fact that
I slept with her last night, then
number two must be true, and thus I
am sure that Hell is exothermic and
has already frozen over. The
corollary of this theory is that
since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting
any more souls and is therefore,
extinct......leaving only Heaven,
thereby proving the existence of a
divine being which explains why,
last night, Teresa kept shouting
"Oh my God."